Hilarious First Date Disasters People Shared With Jimmy Fallon
Going on a first date can be pretty nerve-wracking. You put on your best clothes, use your best perfume, and do your best to show up on time so you can make a good first impression. However, things may not always go according to plan. Bad dates do happen, and they are something that happens to most people at least once in their lives.
Jimmy Fallon asked his Twitter followers to send in their #WorstFirstDate stories, and boy, oh boy, did they deliver! If you think your first-date disaster stories were bad, check out these hilarious tweets!
The Mama’s Boy
Twitter user @Uber4Chocobos recalled how she once went on a date with a guy (a full-grown adult!) who freaked out and called his mom when he found out that they were going to see an R-rated movie.
She certainly dodged a bullet there! If her date still has to ask his mother’s permission to see an R-rated movie, maybe he shouldn’t even be dating in the first place. Going on a date with a fully-grown adult who behaves like such a child is just plain weird.
Parents in Tow
It’s great to date someone who enjoys spending time with their family, but what would you do if your date loves their family so much that they see no problem with bringing their parents with them on your first date?
This is exactly what happened to @KellyScicluna, who had the rather unusual experience of meeting her date’s parents a bit too early in the relationship. At 25 years old, perhaps her date needs to learn to be more independent.
The Third Wheel
In a scene straight out of a horror movie, Twitter user @Cwools249 told Fallon that she once dated someone who had a dead body in the back of his car. As it turns out, the guy she agreed to go on a date with worked as a funeral director.
While there’s nothing wrong with working in the death care industry, what Christine’s date did was just plain creepy and bizarre. This is certainly our idea of a great first date!
Sharing food can be a great way to bond with your date. You can order one dish, and your date can order another. Then, you can both try out each other’s orders. What could possibly go wrong?
Unfortunately for Twitter user @herstory07, she didn’t just get to sample her date’s food – she also had it shoved into her face! Even if the guy did it as a joke, this is unacceptable behavior, especially on a first date.
Honesty can be a great thing, especially when you’re going out with someone you just met. When Twitter user @rktaylor628’s date thanked him for a wonderful evening, he replied by saying that he didn’t have anything else to do. While this may be true, it’s probably not a good idea to be this honest on a first date.
Fortunately, things seemed to have turned out well for Robert, as he and his date are now husband and wife. This will certainly be a great story to tell their kids and grandkids one day!
What’s worse than being stood up by your date? Maybe having your date call you by a different name! @ChrisMillhouse’s date clearly wasn’t thinking straight when she accidentally called him “Tom.” To make matters worse, she did it while she was introducing him to 10 of her friends!
Things got even more awkward when his date realized her mistake and then admitted that Tom was in fact her date the following evening. Poor Chris – he must have felt so humiliated by this experience!
Big Brother is Watching
If you’ve ever wondered why some people put tape over their laptop or phone cameras, this is because some people believe that the government is secretly listening in on their conversations and spying on them through these devices.
@klaracee91’s date was one of these people. Her date had become so paranoid about being spied on that he thought it would be a good idea to have his phone completely covered in tape. If he was that scared of being spied on, maybe he shouldn’t even have a phone in the first place?
For some people, intellectual compatibility can make or break a relationship. While people in a relationship don’t need to have similar IQs to be considered intellectually compatible, it does help if their intellects can complement one another.
Twitter user @actualjaneway had to coax her date into having a conversation with her on topics that she found interesting. While she was somewhat relieved that he did manage to reciprocate the conversation, what he said afterward left Jane feeling stunned. That’s a red flag right there!
A Trip to the ER
@AlidaBanh’s experience was both embarrassing and incredibly painful. She accidentally stubbed her toe while walking into the bar to meet her date, resulting in a trip to the ER when she soon realized that her shoe had filled with blood.
It sucks to have your date ruined by an emergency, but your health and safety should always be your priority! Fortunately for Alida, her date wasn’t put off by this experience – he even asked her out for a second date!
Wrong Number Text
When sending a text to a friend while on a date, you should always make sure that you’re sending the message to the right person. Better yet, you probably shouldn’t even be texting anyone at all! Your date deserves your full attention, even if the date isn’t going as well as you had hoped.
@MaiteLombard’s date just couldn’t wait to tell his friends how he regretted asking her out, that he didn’t bother to check who he was sending the message to! He could have at least waited until their date was over to tell his friends all about it.
Every Step You Take Every Move You Make
This poster had a gut intuition that they followed and it ended up being horrifyingly correct. According to Helene, she had a feeling that her date might be too “keen.”
Turns out, Helene was correct. Keen might have been too kind a word however, for what her potential suitor was, as he tried to break into her apartment thereafter. How scary!
Some Talk To Set The Mood
This poor woman had to en-deer some pretty gruesome chit chat over dinner with her bad date. Who wants to talk about skinning animals over dinner??
Apparently, it got worse. Imagine sitting next to someone spitting dip into a cup throughout a movie. Very gross. And the night ended with a good old bump on the head. No thank you.
Some For Me And Some For Me
Nothing more romantic than sitting down with a date and splitting a bottle of wine amongst yourself. It helps loosen us up and get the conversation flowing.
However, if only one of you is taking the majority of the bottle, it can quickly devolve from romantic to sloppy. It only is made worse if the date not only takes most of the bottle, but POURS YOUR WINE into theirs. The audacity.
Drew Doesn’t Like That
You know what’s worse than a person who won’t stop talking about themselves? A person who won’t stop talking about themselves in third person. Kind of creepy, right?
We’re sure the poster was sitting across the table like, who is Drew? Once the realization hit, how awkward and slightly terrifying? Tell Drew we had to go…
Not All Thoughts Need To Be Expressed
Poor Sarah. She got all dressed up for her date with what she presumed was a grown man, only to discover to had to agreed to dinner with a caveman. What a waste of perfume.
A five minute date might be a record for this guy. It seems like a long time to spend with someone who has little respect and social cues. Perhaps a walk in the jungle will rear this man a mate.
Apparently, Man Like Mack’s date saw the opportunity to make some quick cash from her date. If he paid, she’d pocket the cash. It is kind of amazing he said nothing when she did, truly a gentleman.
Even still, he gave her another chance. Somehow, the date sunk even lower and stole money from the server at the restaurant. What a class act.
Party Favors For Trivia
This poster got way more than she bargained for when she agreed to go on a date with this wild ride of a dude. Not only did he get sloshed on their date, but worse still, invited himself somewhere he was not invited.
Likely trying to make the best of it, Annamarie tried to roll with the punches. However, the date did some substances in the bathroom (maybe to fire up the noggin’ for trivia?) and tried to make out with the poor woman. No second date, we reckon.
This date sounds incredibly nauseating and it is difficult to imagine how one would be able to maintain their composure let alone their appetite. This woman had to watch her date pick at his skin and then flick the content onto the table.
It is hard to imagine how a person could lack the self awareness to know that picking and flicking any part of your body is highly frowned upon. PSA, it is.
So…Who Is Buying?
Blind dates are already awkward enough. Imagine first that you walk into a blind date and already know the person, pretty uncomfortable. Imagine next that the person you have to sit through dinner with is your landlord. Okay, now it’s pretty bad.
But it gets worse, oh yes, worse. Not only is the date your landlord, but you are behind on rent. How horrible. So…who is buying?
What A Girl Wants, What A Girl Needs
We’re sure exactly no one likes someone speaking over them to dictate what they like and don’t like. It is pig-headed to assume that you would know someone better than they know themselves.
It was probably very uncomfortable for the waitress and Kate, here. Our only question is whether Kate got her steak medium rare or medium??
Run For The Hills
Asking someone you don’t very well how they want to die is a little strange, but permissible. It was the man’s follow-up that left the original poster with a guttural fear and general feelings of ick.
Who wants to die in a gruesome fashion? And then to boot, attempting to kiss someone repeatedly after they try to dodge you is creepy. We do not blame the woman for running away from this guy.
What’s Mine Is Mine
There is something Mary Poppins-esque about your date reaching into their backpack and pulling out not one, not twi, but three chili dogs. However, the magic quickly fades when none of that chili-magic comes your way.
There is also something inherently un-sexy about a man balancing three chili dogs upon his stomach and scarfing them down in your bed. What if Hannah had bed rules?
Trying To Get It Out Of The Way
While we don’t blame the man for trying to get a potentially crucial romantic detail out of the way, this seems like a strange way to drop the news. Perhaps it could have been done with more grace.
After all, as we are taught as children, it is not what you say, but how you say. Read the room, buddy.
A Child In A Man Costume
Art is to be appreciated and make us feel something, but what if all it makes you feel is the giggles? Such is the way of Haley’s date.
Because they went to an art museum it could be assumed that at least one of them has a tasteful eye for the arts. It was probably a bit embarrassing when Haley’s date slow clapped at a naked woman.
Choose Love Not War
There is something particularly eerie and weird about Meredith’s date with a chap who seemed a little too keen on violence. That would be enough to make a person do a double take, but what followed was even worse.
Not only did the man feel pride in invading a country, his country had invaded his dates. More than uncomfortable, the topic just seems cruel.
Three Is A Crowd?
It is unclear why a man would bring his wife on a first date, did he try and sneak her into the rendezvous? Are they a package deal?
Or perhaps, the wife learned of the date and arrived in a spiffy to interrupt her husband from presumably breaking vows.
Imagine meeting a blind date and being essentially kidnapped to their family event. This in and of itself is jarring and weird to do to someone. But it somehow gets worse!
The date then pretended him and the original poster had been dating for awhile, leaving her to lie to his family and be generally uncomfortable. The cherry? The grandmother commenting on her body for baby making. Squeal!
Be Grateful For What You Have
When this poster, Carol, gets frustrated with her husband, she harkens back to a darker time, on a date with a man who had very strange notions of what a date even is.
Speeding around chasing police calls would be a strange way for a police officer to spend their free time on a date. Even weirder is someone who is not even employed by a police department.
This Is Confusing
We would be actually terrified if we went on a date with a man who tried to claim our children as his own. It takes time for parents to introduce partners to their children, a first date claiming them as their own is creepy!
But it seems Liz’s first date decided to take it even a step further. Why not have her ex-husband walk her down the aisle, too? One big happy family. Run, Liz, Run!
Bates Motel, Dates Motel
For those of us in the know with pop culture, we’ll remember the villain of the film Psycho who had an unhealthy relationship with his mother (to put it mildly.)
This worst first dates seems to bring that movie to mind, for some reason…That had to be one of the most uncomfortable first dates out there.
Roped In To The Groping Room
There is this word that gets thrown around a lot and for good reason. That word is “consent” and it is deeply important. So when Kelly went on her first date, it is clear she did not consent to what came next.
A swingers bar is most assuredly not for everyone. To bring your date there without their knowledge is weird at best and creepy as all heck at worst.
I’m Late For A Very Important Date
Lateness happens, it comes with the territory of being a human being. Of course, we shouldn’t be late as much as we can. If someone is chronically late, perhaps that is a reason to completely blow someone off.
Dan was not given that benefit, as at five minutes late his date decided to forgo any chance at connection and enter the theater alone. Ending a date with a handshake is not ideal.
Spoke Too Soon
This time around, it was our poster who made the faux paux. Apparently, Ember spoke too soon, and decided to give her date a little light ribbing.
Turns out, the ribbing was not so light. Her date’s outfit that she was making fun of was for a very sad day in anyone’s life…their mother’s funeral. How do you recover from that?
Saving Herself For Mom
We all have our special traits and things that make us our own unique individual. Some people have never smoked, some have traveled a lot, and some have never pumped gas. Wait–what?
Bill’s date had never pumped her gas, and when he tried to rectify this it did not go over how he had expected. His date wanted to save the special occasion to do with her mom.
There are a few things wrong with Lucille’s date conversation. The first one is not such a big deal. Math is not a language…so there’s that.
The second conversation topic is a lot more concerning. Someone should probably keep an eye on that guy. He has some pretty alarming perspectives on the world.
Just Some Light Emotional Manipulation
There are few things worse than a man holding your ability to touch the ground over your head (?) in order to force you into a second date. And yet, here we are.
This poster had to lie just to make it back down to earth. We have to say, this is a very bad premise to base your relationship on and it is no wonder they did not go on a second date.
“My Ex Is Horrible, You Have A Lot In Common”
Getting back into the dating pool is hard after the end of a relationship. It takes time to ease back in, we need to lick our wounds and heal our hurt hearts. Though some of us jump in before we are ready.
Such is the case with Kaylinn’s date who used her as an emotional support system on their date. This is awkward enough without the added bonus of him trash talking his ex and then saying that she and the ex seem similar.
When The Date IS A Red Flag Himself
There is no reason on earth that someone needs to ask a relative stranger to buy them a weapon without it being sketchy and weird. Not one.
And yet, here this red flag of a man was asking poor Jane to purchase him a weapon, in her name, so he could use it. That is super weird.
Who Are These People??
To be fair, this bad date is kind of hilarious and it seems it was more of a misunderstanding and lack of communication more than anything else.
Luckily the two figured it out and spared themselves from walking into a very very odd situation. We wonder–second date??